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It’s not easy, not for anyone. It’s hard on you, it’s hard for your partner, your family and your friends. It’s heartbreaking for people that actually loves you to see you turn into someone that doesn’t care. You don’t look after yourself anymore and you lose part of your identity. It hurts for everyone. But especially for you…

It’s very hard to explain something that you don’t understand yourself. It’s hard to put words into emotions and it hurts that the people that used to love you can’t love you the way you need them to. I have hear everything from “everyone is depressed it’s just up to you how you handle it”, or my absolute favourite… “You just need to snap out of it… it’s just a phase”. People constantly keep telling you that it’s because of the food you eat or if you just do some exercise you will feel better…. But you won’t. Healing takes time and to learn how to handle our illness is hard…It takes time.. Sometimes a long time.

I’m lucky to have an amazing mum, dad, sister and brother that understood and was standing next to me to support and motivate. I know they will understand again and I know that they will help me when I need it the most.. Because thats what families do.

I also know how frustrating it can be to have people that you love not understanding what you are going through… If you have a partner that is constantly happy and never deal with anger, or sadness in their lives they won’t understand anything that you are dealing with deep down. They will turn into people that is more toxic than good because their needs and the way of exisiting in the world force you to compromise on yourself and your happiness. It doesn’t mean that they are bad people or that they don’t care, it’s just that they can’t understand what’s happening in your life.

It’s always hard to see the light when you are in the middle of the storm, but I can promise you that it will all be better.. You will see the light and when you reach it you will be amazed of your own journey. I’m not saying that you won’t fall back down, because some people do, like me… but we have done it before and we know that we can win again. We just need that extra little help to deal with the dark demons in our head.

Whatever challenge you are facing, money,love or suicidal thoughts please don’t give in… do what you have to do for yourself and keep your head high. People that love you will send by you no matter what and they will be the winners in the end. Because when you are done running the marathon you will learn to love again and they will be the first people to receive your love.

I guess I’m a bit emotional today therefor the long post..(SORRY)
I love myself and I’m fine…Please don’t worry about me.
I’m lucky to have you guys that motivates me every day.

Thanks for reading, you guys are amazing.

XOXO